Telegoguery—Bill O’Reilly and Hack Hannity Pass Judgment, Fail Test

Televangelists Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker demonstrated how Christianity can’t be forced into the “logic” of commercial broadcasting without being perverted in the process.

Telegogues Bill O’Reilly and Sean “Hack” Hannity—the Swaggart and Bakker of pop culture conservatism—demonstrate how conservatism can’t be forced into that “logic” without being perverted, either.

Both O’Reilly and Hannity have roundly condemned Barack Obama for remaining a member of Chicago’s Trinity United Church of Christ despite the anti-American ravings of its former pastor, Jeremiah Wright, from the pulpit. Obama should have left his church of twenty years, they say, because Jeremiah Wright is too radical.

Would O’Reilly and Hannity, both of whom are Catholics, agree that Wright’s rants pale in comparison to the sexual molestation of thousands of children in the Catholic Church? Since when is criticizing America more deserving of censure and apostasy than serial child molestation?

Besides, have O’Reilly and Hannity heard of the scathing condemnations of American culture and media made by Pope Benedict and Pope John Paul II?

What O’Reilly and Hannity are completely ignorant of is that Liberation Theology, the Marxist doctrine Wright was advocating when he cursed America, was developed in and disseminated from the Catholic Church. Exactly what Reverend Wright was preaching, though repudiated by John Paul II, has been preached in Catholic churches for thirty-five years.

Which do these telegogues worship first—the cross, the flag, or the Neilson ratings? If the cross, then by their own logic they should probably renounce and leave the Catholic Church (which would, of course, be absurd.) If the flag, they should temper their demogoguery and be less divisive. If the Neilson ratings, they should keep doing exactly what they’ve been doing.

Wright addressed O’Reilly and Hannity’s perverse conflation of politics and religion during an April 12 eulogy for a friend (yet another example of his narcissism and lack of boundaries) when he criticized their

jingoistic, chauvinistic ‘you’re either with us or against us’ demonizing kind of faith…O’Reilly will never get that. Sean Hannity’s stupid fantasy will keep him forever stuck on stupid when it comes to comprehending how you can love a brother who does not believe what you believe.

O’Reilly and Hannity quickly replied to Wright, as the “logic” of commercialism demands, capitalizing on a rift in the church in a way no genuinely catholic Christian would. It’s one thing to judge the words of a man, another to judge the man himself, and something else altogether to judge an entire denomination.

Wright, O’Reilly, and Hannity are three hypocritical, self-aggrandizing egomaniacs caught between the perverse logic of commercialism and the straightjacket of theological and ideological rigidity. They deserve each other.

American conservatism and a truly catholic (as in “universal”) church deserve better.

Newsprism

Here’s the Random House dictionary’s definition of catholic (small “c”): 1. broad or wide-ranging in tastes, interests, or the like; having sympathies with all; broad-minded; liberal. 2. universal in extent; involving all; of interest to all. 3. pertaining to the whole Christian body or church.

FoxNews Fails History Lesson

Mistakes are inevitable in the 24-hour pressure cooker of cable news. Misspelled words, mispronounced names, technical glitches—these are to be expected.

But confusing Stephen Douglas and Frederick Douglass in a story about the Lincoln-Douglas debates?

That’s exactly what happened this morning when FoxNews mistakenly aired a graphic showing President Lincoln and former slave Frederick Douglass (video).

The fact that three news personalities didn’t catch the mistake is bad enough. News broadcasts involve more than on-air talent, however. Editors, directors, fact checkers, technicians, and graphic artists all have a hand in what goes out over the air.

No one at FoxNews managed to figure out that an African-American like Frederick Douglass was unlikely to have been running for office in 1858, when African-Americans couldn’t even vote.

As HL Mencken noted, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”

Certainly not FoxNews’s owner, billionaire Rupert Murdoch.

Newsprism

FoxNews’s vapid cheerleading for the worst president in American history reminds Newsprism of another quote from Mencken: “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.”

Obama Finally Condemns Racist Rants of Reverend Wright

Under mounting pressure, Barack Obama today “clearly and unequivocally denounc(ed)” the colorful rants of Jeremiah Wright at the National Press Club yesterday (video). Obama made the statements at a press conference in North Carolina, saying he was “outraged and saddened” by Wright’s behavior. CNN, MSNBC, and FoxNews all ran the press conference live.

Obama made clear that the relationship between the two men has been significantly damaged, saying it will “never be the same” and that the two hadn’t talked lately. Obama said yesterday’s performance left him “appalled,” “outraged,” and ”angry” and contradicted “everything I’ve done in my life.”

In particular, Obama called Wright’s statement that the government spread the AIDS virus to harm blacks “ridiculous” and questioned Wright’s praise of Louis Farrakhan.

Obama also said that Wright has been enjoying being “center stage,” suggesting a motive for the increasingly unbalanced and provocative remarks of the Reverend. Many observers are convinced that Wright is purposefully undermining Obama’s campaign.

Wright’s behavior has deteriorated into self-absorbed clowning lately, and he’s been more openly racist in his comments about whites and more openly radical in his conspiratorial condemnations of America.

What Wright will do now that the gloves are off is anybody’s guess. One thing is certain: the media will give it more coverage than it deserves.

Newsprism

Topless Hannah Montana Rewarded with Free Advertising on NBC

What’s the appropriate response to fifteen-year-old role model Mylee Cyrus, also known as the star of the Disney Channel’s Hannah Montana, posing topless for Vanity Fair (photos)?

Free advertising on the evening news. Brian Williams saw fit to give the Vanity Fair photos by Annie Leibovitz a tease and a story on NBC’s Nightly News.

Cyrus feigned embarrassment over the photos while the Disney Channel feigned outrage, accusing the magazine of “deliberately manipulat(ing) a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.”

Newsprism wonders who’s manipulating whom. Cyrus and her father, Billy Ray, have proven adept at playing the media manipulation game as they parlay her marginal talents into a multi-million dollar empire of near Olsen Twins proportions (and who’s more talented than the Olsen twins?)

Sexually suggestive photos by the world’s leading celebrity photographer in the sophisticated Vanity Fair are no accident—more like a cynical attempt to manipulate the mainstream media into publicizing an image makeover just in time for the next, more mature phase in Cyrus’s career.

Cyrus, NBC, Disney,Vanity Fair and Leibovitz will all profit from this ”titillation” and all the free publicity it generates.

American culture, however, just sank a little bit deeper into the sewer.

Newsprism

The Worst of the Wild, Wild Web—from the Right, WorldNetDaily

Far-right fundamentalist news and shopping site WorldNetDaily combines sensationalistic reactionary stories with a glut of self-promotional product pitches and questionable advertisements masked as headlines and text links to produce a formula that attracts a substantial readership within the right-wing echo chamber.

Unfortunately, the twisted news judgment of WorldNetDaily makes TheHuffingtonPost look alomost like a legitimate news source, and the predominance of commercial content makes WND one of the most cynical and mercenery sites on the web.

No other news site does so much to embed ads into the news. As of 4:00pm, six of the first ten “headlines” at today’s WND aren’t news stories; they’re actually ads promoting products and services. These include:

An anti-global warming theory DVD for $29.95—just in case all the other free anti-global warming hocus pocus at WND didn’t satisfy your thirst for irrational propaganda. Publisher Joseph Farah insists that global warming can’t possibly be real because God promised Noah He’d never flood the earth again; why, then, do you need to pay thirty bucks to hear some hack say the same thing?

A full years’ worth of Advanced Artery Solution for just $239.40. This medical “breakthrough” (it’s actually just ethylenediamine tetra-acetic acid, a common chemical used in thousands of products) promises that you’ll feel the difference as your arteries are cleansed of plaque (as if anyone can “feel” their arteries) and toxins leave your body (that you can feel—it’s called urinating.)

An anti-Darwin “documentary” that “proves” that Darwinism “has probably been responsible for more bloodshed than anything else in the history of humanity” (including the Holocaust) for just $4.95. ‘Nuff said.

A year’s subscription toWND’s own Whistleblower magazine for only $49.95. The next edition is devoted to “The secret life” of Barack “Hussein” Obama, “a Manchurian candidate – harboring an ominous secret agenda” who “reflexively, instinctively, will side with what’s wrong and harmful for America, and will oppose what’s right and good and wholesome for America. It’s uncanny.”

Other phony “headlines” include these ridiculous get rich quick schemes:

Turn $200 into $1.2 million with these hidden stocks! Get the 4 stocks you need to own in 2008.

$187,296 in 24 hours! Spare me just 7 minutes to show you how to copy my plan.

As if this shameless schilling isn’t bad enough, WorldNetDaily embeds literally hundreds of text links that look like normal hyperlinks in its news stories. In fact, these links are part of a third-party network called Kontera that promises ads “relevant” to the content. The ads, however, are only relevant insofar as any word in the English language that’s relevant to any Kontera ad can be hyperlinked. For example, when the word “doctor” appears in one WND story, Kontera embeds a link to an ad for health insurance. When the words “medical care” appear in the same story, an ad for Geico car insurance pops up.

Now on to the news.

The lead story this afternoon is tabloid-style sensationalism headlined, “Children’s hospital launches sex change for kids program.” It begins,

A doctor at the renowned Children’s Hospital Boston has launched a new program to drug children to delay puberty so they can decide whether they want a male or a female body … “We don’t think that demonic is too strong a word to describe this,” said a statement from the pro-family Mass Resistance organization. “It brings us thoughts of the Nazi doctors who thought they were doing good things.”

In reality, the “new program”—the Gender Management Service Clinic at Boston Children’s Hospital—is intended primarily to help children born with Disorders of Sexual Differentiation, which are pathologies that make it difficult to tell whether the children are male or female. Delaying puberty in such cases allows doctors to better handle the difficult decisions involved in assigning a gender to such children. (Note: the link above on the word “puberty” takes you to www.DealTime.com, where you can ”Shop Deals from 1000s of Merchants. Find, compare & buy.” How’s that for relevant?)

Another WND story proclaims that “Clinton’s family home reflects Democrat divide” and begins,

A new front has opened in the battle for the deeply divided soul of America’s Democrats - the front porch of the long-time family home of Hillary Clinton’s father and grandparents (where) a “Hillary For President” poster is tied to one half of the fence while an “Obama For President” adorns the other half.

The implication is that the Clinton family is divided over whom to vote for. In reality, though, the Clinton’s don’t own the home and haven’t for many years; a mother and daughter live there now, one of whom supports Clinton and the other Obama.

If all of this sensationalism, sex, spin and snake oil salesmanship isn’t enough for you, some of the nation’s best political minds offer their commentary at WND, including Chuck Norris and Pat Boone. Then there’s this laughable series of smears on Barack ”Hussein” Obama that Newsprism documented earlier this year.

Newsprism “follow(s) news and politics with a big shovel.”

In the case of the massive pile of bull called WorldNetDaily, we needed a steamshovel.

Newsprism

The Worst of the Wild, Wild Web—From the Left, HuffingtonPost

Hollywood leftist news and gossip site The Huffington Post combines a buffet of cheesy far-left commentary from notable writers, politicians, activists, actors, scholars, more actors, and relatives of actors with a daily dish of celebrity gossip. Add in a lively and very functional reader comment section and you have a highly succesful formula.

Unfortunately, the news judgment of HuffPo can best be described as amateurish, and the editorial stance leans so far left it’s staggering.

A quick glimpse at today’s headlines proves the point:

Cindy McCain, The Recipe Thief, Says The Intern Did It—omigosh! Cindy McCain’s intern may have stolen recipes from The Food Network! Hold the presses, hold the presses!

Jenna Bush Tries Not To Flash the Pope—holy Marilyn Monroe moment, a gust of wind almost (almost!) blew Jenna Bush’s skirt up as she shook the hand of Pope Benedict XVI!!!!!

“Dancing With The Stars” Eliminates The Oldest Contestant—that’s right, Priscilla Presley, the “62-year-old actress” (she acts???) was eliminated because her “rumba was dull and technically imprecise…”

Thought Process Flowchart: Dr. Phil—Drs. Freud and Jung take note: here’s a peek inside the mind of Dr. Phil McGraw!!!!

Obama Offers Hanna Montana Treasury Secretary Job—just in case you’re a ten-year-old girl, or have the mentality of one, here’s a serious story about a skit from the Country Music Awards!!!!

Jon Stewart Mocks Obama “Bitter” Controversy—real news about fake news about real news … and the fake news was better than the real!!!!!

In terms of commentary, HuffPo gives our finest political thinkers (Alec Baldwin, Margaret Cho, Norman Lear’s little granddaughter) a platform from which to enlighten us. This sampling should get you up to speed:

Pope Should Start “Spiritual Renewal” With Bisexual God—those sexist Catholics are sooooo paternalistic, they should get God two lovers, one male and one female, or better yet, give God both male and female sex organs, to make up for all those centuries of patriarchy. (Here’s the definition of bisexual, HuffPo.)

The Alabama of Pennsylvania Mirrors New Hampshire—a media elitist slurs working-class Pennsylvania by comparing it to (and slurring) Alabama. To paraphrase Lynyrd Skynyrd, we Southerners don’t need you Hollywood and NYC fly-over types around anyhow.

How Many “Gaffes” Equal Incompetence? and One Candidate Has Failed the Commander-In-Chief Test—Twice—that no-good John McCain accidentally confused Shia for Sunni (and who hasn’t done that?) Then McCain “seemed to say that General Petraeus is the top military commander of our Armed Forces, telling the Associated Press that he wouldn’t shift the focus of the military from Iraq to Afghanistan ‘unless Gen. [David] Petraeus said that he felt that the situation called for that.’” SEEMED to say? And it took two HuffPo bloggers to make that SEEM like a gaffe.

Then there’s the running gag called “Dickipedia,” described as “a wiki of dicks,” and its latest Dickipedia entry on John McCain. The entry calls McCain “cowardly” and an “asshole” and describes his wife as “freakish-looking over-plastic-surgery’d wife Cindy.” Then there’s this gem: “Though he once called religious bigots like Jerry Falwell ‘agents of intolerance,’ he now eagerly gets on his knees to fellate them to completion ask for their support.”

To top it all off, HuffPo asks the question, Is the Pope Even Relevant? At least as relevant as, say, Priscilla Presley, Hannah Montana, Dr. Phil, David Hasselhoff, Rob Lowe, comedian Keith Olbermann, and a topless Ann Coulter.

So that’s one day in the life of The HuffingtonPost—a big hit on the wild wild web, and a signal moment in the resurgence of yellow journalism.

Newsprism

Old Gray Lady Lifts Her Skirt

The New York Times is running a front-page story about an alleged affair between Senator John McCain and a lobbyist three decades his junior. The story is attributed to anonymous sources. This is just the kind of smear we expect from blatantly partisan and brazenly personalistic sources like WorldNetDaily, Sean Hannity, and Ann Coulter on the right, or DemocraticUnderground and HuffingtonPost on the left.

But The Times, the so-called “Old Gray Lady,” the gold standard in American journalism? Senator McCain is answering these charges as I write, and the New York tabloids have already begun running sensationalist headlines. You can also expect to hear the story repeated ad nauseum on talk radio (left and right) today. The New Republic has an interesting take on the writing of the story and the timing of its publication.

Undue influence and conflicts of interest are, of course, fair game, but nine-year-old sexual rumors clearly are not. This is yellow journalism, tabloid journalism, and not worthy of The Times.

Pat Buchanan’s latest column lays out the case even-handedly, noting that the McCain campaign called the Times story “a hit-and-run smear,” which echoes but doesn’t plagiarize the metaphor Rush Limbaugh uses to bash such behavior in the liberal press, which he regularly calls the drive-by media.

I’ve taken some flak for putting The New York Times so far to the left at my political news portal, Newsprism.com. In my defense, while many aging drivers choose UPS-style routes with only right turns, lately the Old Gray Lady has been looking more like a NASCAR race: all left turns.

Newsprism.com